I’m so excited, I recently published my new e-book Stop the Stress Spin Cycle for Amzon’s Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook. It is also available in PDF at www.stopthestressspincycle.com I’ll be teaching some workshops based on the Energy Psychology techniques that I demonstrate in the book. Check it out!
Happy summer
Lorna
We’re hearing that a lot this time of year, but for many the extra stress of the holidays causes unhappiness. I am offering a free teleclass on December 15 at 7:30 eastern with quick and easy Energy Psychology techniques to help reduce the stress of the holidays as well as a free 5 session Reduce Holiday Stress e-course. Go to www.reduceholidaystress.com to read more and sign up. You’ll be glad you did.
In the USA it’s Thanksgiving Day. I have so much to be thankful about, so I thought I would share a few of my blessings. Most of all I am thankful for my wonderful husband of 44 years, his loving support and wacky sense of humor. I am so grateful for our three terrific kids and their families, and my extended family. Our sweet dog Joy brings so much joy into our life. I love living in North Carolina, especially being close to the mountains. I am so grateful for the amazing clients I get to accompany along their path of transformation. I appreciate the students in the classes I teach and the opportunity to share what I have learned over the last 65 years. I am truly blessed.
TIP: Count your blessings. No matter how many things are stressing you out, taking time everyday to make a gratitude list can really change your emotions and your energy.
The last 10 posts have been based on Dr. Daniel Amen’s concept of ANTS- automatic negative thoughts, and my “tips” for shifting or changing those thoughts. One of the best ways I know to remove these ANTS is Energy Psychology. Two of my favorite techniques are EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and The Healing Codes. I am certified in both these technologies and use them for myself as well as with clients from all over the world. To learn more about me and these techniques go to my virtual coaching center at www.cmvcc.com or www.coachminewiser.com
TIP: Use Energy Psychology techniques to “Kill the ants” and change your life for the better.
Dr. Amen says that blame is the most poisonous red ant. It can be very harmful when you blame something or someone else for a problem in your life, and let yourself feel like a victim. When you don’t take responsibility for your problems, it is very hard to change them. When you constantly blame another person in your life it interferes with the relationship and keeps you stuck.
Tip: Use this prayer when you find yourself blaming someone rather than taking responsibility for your problems.
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the people I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.
ANTS= Automatic negative thoughts Dr. Daniel Amen Change your brain, change your life.
Personalizing can be similar to mind reading. It occurs when we invest innocuous events, especially someone else’s behavior, with personal meaning. When someone you know walks by you without acknowledging you and you think “They must be mad at me because they’re not talking to me” -that’s personalizing. The reality might be that they’re focused on a problem and didn’t see you, or they aren’t wearing their glasses and can’t see you. And, if it’s a possibility that they are mad at you and are ignoring you- approaching them defensively might make matters worse. As Dr. Amen says: “You never fully know why people do what they do.”
TIP: Instead of personalizing someone’s behavior that annoys or upsets you, give them the benefit of the doubt, and ask for clarification.
ANTS= Automatic negative thoughts. Dr. Amen “Change your mind, change your life.”
According to Dr. Amen negative labels like “stupid,” “jerk,” or “irresponsible,” whether said about yourself or others, can get in the way of seeing a situation clearly. The negative energy that accompanies such thoughts can also interfere with your ability to see yourself or others as unique individuals with different ways of perceiving and experiencing the world. It’s like having blinders on.
TIP: When you find yourself labeling yourself or others, STOP, step back from the situation and choose to let go of the label, so you can see clearly.
ANTS= Automatic negative thoughts. Dr. Amen “Change your mind, change your life.”
Dr. Amen says that guilt beatings happen when you think that we “should” or “must” or “ought to” or “have to” do something we don’t want to do. It often happens when we are feeling overwhelmed, and don’t have enough time to accomplish everything we want accomplish. We think we can use these “guilt beating” statements to motivate ourselves, but in actuality they may cause more resistance, and a lot of stress. We feel guilty if we don’t do what we “should do” and resentful when we do. This is very hard on our bodies as well. If we spend a lot of time doing this we are always pushing and resisting. It’s very draining. ( When we are constantly using these words with someone else we may be causing a lot of resistance as well.)
TIP: When you find yourself “guilt-beating” choose to change the “shoulds” etc. to “want to” or “choose to”!
ANTS= Automatic negative thoughts. Dr. Amen “Change your mind, change your life.”
When you “think with your feelings” you believe your automatic negative feelings. Feeling are often based on powerful memories of the past. Both our positive and negative memories can be triggered in the present by something that subconsciously reminds us of the past. A sight, a sound, even a smell – and we can feel a certain way toward someone new because there is a reminder of someone in our past. We’re drawn to or repelled by the memory rather than the reality. Sometimes our feelings seem to be out of proportion to what is happening in the present. That often means that we are responding to a memory as well as to the present. You might want to take a few moments to check out what you are feeling. Look for evidence that what you are feeling is connected to the present. If it’s not, then you may want to find ways to release the feelings from the old memories, so they don’t interfere with the present or future.
TIP: Try EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques ) or another energy field technique to release old negative memories and emotions. (see www.emotionalfreedomcoach.com)
ANTS= Automatic negative thoughts. Dr. Amen “Change your mind, change your life.”